


hate to love

by jhoom



Series: love, hate, and movies [2]
Category: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Actor!AU, Celebrity!AU, F/M, confused lizzie, modern!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7610497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhoom/pseuds/jhoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet are both famous actors, known for their amazing on screen chemistry. But what the audience thinks of as romantic is really Darcy’s confused crush and Elizabeth’s disgust. Too bad they each think the other’s on the same page about where they stand.</p><p>Part Two of my "love, hate, and movies" Series</p>
            </blockquote>





	hate to love

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to write this for *months* and finally forced myself to sit down and do it :) This is Lizzie's POV from the story [love to hate](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6627253) and goes a little bit past the original story. I plan on doing a third installment at some point where I wrap the whole thing up, but that is still a ways away at the moment.
> 
> Friendly reminder that I have *no* idea how film making works, so if I make mistakes in presenting either, I apologize.
> 
> Also wanted to point out that in direct contrast to how I portray her in [What's in a Name?"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6156205/chapters/14105506), Caroline is *not* a bad guy here. She's just an oblivious gossip who's friendly if not a bit shallow.
> 
> And as always, check me out on [tumblr](http://jhoomwrites.tumblr.com) if you wanna chat :)

Elizabeth Bennet always thought of herself as an open-minded and fair individual.  Although she liked to tease, she was never truly mean to someone without reason.  But once she deemed someone deserving of her distaste, well, it was hard to change her mind on the matter.

Which made it particularly unfortunate that her first encounter with her future co-star went so poorly.

She'd heard of William Darcy, of course (who in the industry hadn't?), and was curious to meet the man himself.  There'd been plenty of times she'd seen his face plastered on billboards or the front covers of magazines, so she knew he was a rather handsome man.  And the few interviews she'd seen made him seem nice enough.  Plus she'd always been a fan of his father's work as a child, loved what he did as an actor and even more his films as a director.  The idea of working with his son was a pleasant one.

Until she overheard him talking to Caroline Bingley about her looks.  How her lack of a "Hollywood figure" wouldn't do her any favors in casting.  That her "look" wasn't right for the current part.  She could practically _see_ the skepticism oozing from the words, the implications that she wouldn't be able to pull off the role. 

Needless to say, it irked her.  Sure, she was used to being judged by her appearance rather than her talent - it was merely the nature of acting until you were more established - but to not even be given the _chance_ by a _co-star_ of all people. 

Admittedly, the guy didn't seem that bad.  He was professional and polite, if not a bit of an awkward conversationalist.  Once the camera was rolling, they worked together seamlessly.  It was one of the easiest roles she's had to date, in no small part due to Darcy.  She honestly couldn't find any reason to fault him other than a conversation she'd mistakenly eavesdropped on.  Yes, she was still annoyed that he held such views and, worse yet, would voice them _out loud_.  But she was willing to let it go. 

Mostly.  She tried to avoid him during filming as much as possible, more for her own sanity than anything else.  She liked being able to think well of him, and she was somewhat worried that too much time together might ruin it.

When filming was over, she had a few months off before they needed to do their press tours.  She had a small project lined up with _the_ Catherine de Bourgh, the first female director to win an Oscar.  It was a short film and Lizzie's part was rather small.  There was no reason to expect filming to interfere with her obligations for other roles, and she was all too happy at the prospect of learning something from one of the biggest female names in the industry.

She told Charlotte as much during their next Skype call.  Charlotte, her lovely best friend and agent.

"You know Catherine de Bourgh is Darcy's aunt, right?"

That took the wind out of her sails, mostly because of the shock.  But yes, Catherine de Bourgh's sister was Darcy's step-mom and his father's third wife.  So technically, she _was_ Darcy's aunt.  Sort of. 

"I wouldn't worry about it," Charlotte comforted.  "Just because her sorta nephew is stuck up, doesn't mean she is."

Charlotte was right.  No reason to be prejudiced against Darcy's extended family, especially when Darcy himself wasn't _that bad_.

But also, because isn't that just Lizzie's luck, Charlotte was wrong.  Catherine de Bourgh was about ten times worse than Darcy.  The first day on set all she heard about is how esteemed the de Bourgh's were, that their whole family was immensely talented.  Why, even their extended family was quite established as well. 

Elizabeth wanted to gag.  Because really, how often could one feasibly turn a conversation around to make a point about their own sense of self-importance?  It'd almost be impressive if it weren't so damn annoying.

Things only got worse when Miss de Bourgh found out Lizzie had just completed a project with Darcy.  Then she went on and on about how _amazingly_ talented the Darcy's were, and William especially.  That it was so great to see a young man in his prime doing phenomenal work, even when paired with sub par actors. 

Which turned into criticism - all well-meaning, naturally - of Elizabeth.  She got an earful of unsolicited advice about her look and how to fix it.  In front of the _entire cast and crew_.

Elizabeth quit the project that day, thanking Catherine de Bourgh for her time and patience so sarcastically that the crew watched with wide eyes.  (Miss de Bourgh seemed oblivious to the intended slight, graciously telling her that she'll never make it in Hollywood if she can't conform to the expectations of those better equipped to know what the public wanted to see.)

She vented to Charlotte for a solid hour, ending with an exasperation declaration that, "Maybe that's why Darcy's such a pain.  He's just as stuck up as his aunt about their family name and legacy.  How dare us outsiders with a different 'look' and no 'grand name' try to get work with them without worshiping the ground they walk on."

Her opinion of Darcy didn't improve much as they did their round of interviews and promos.  He never really tried talking to her unless it was on camera and under the direction of interviewers.  During the actual interviews, he matched her passive aggressiveness step by step.  It was proof enough that he fit in perfectly with Miss de Bourgh and she wanted nothing to do with that kind of attitude.

(Charlotte did point out Elizabeth had described him as socially awkward, which was probably why he wasn't able to work past the 'small talk' phase.  And she even went as far to suggest that maybe he was just following her lead in the interviews.  It did seem to her that they were more or less playing their characters, and maybe it put him at ease.)

(Elizabeth ignored the idea.)

On their second project together, she accidentally punched him.  Despite the look he gave her right after it happened, it _was_ an accident.  So maybe there'd been a couple times she'd _imagined_ punching him.  It was frustrating having to work so closely with someone who didn't like her much and whom she didn't particularly care for either.  Imagining her fist connecting with his face was occasionally a calming way for her to deal with that frustration.

But day dreams and reality were very separate things.  Actually doing it felt _terrible_ and she was mortified.  In a panic, she held the ice pack for him and envisioned worse case scenarios where his family would have her blacklisted from any half-decent projects and her career would be over. 

Surprisingly, Darcy was incredibly nice about it.  Somehow that made it worse.  And though it was brought up all the time in interviews later on, he was a good sport about it and never outed her for actually making contact and giving him a black eye.  Though he did tend to give her a funny look whenever it was brought up, and she wondered what he really thought about the whole thing.

The whole Darcy thing was a mystery to her.  Half the time he seemed like a decent guy, then she'd hear him say something that reminded him of how stuck up he seemed.  His casual dismissal of certain actors, his obvious dislike for some directors, and his refusal to work with a few people.  (Okay, that last one was a rumor she'd heard and never been able to prove.  But the fact that the rumor existed was enough for Lizzie to belief some truth must be in it.)  It painted the picture of someone blown up by his own self-importance.

It didn't help that the audiences ate it up whenever they were seen together.  It got to the point where she had to bite the inside of her lip to keep form screaming whenever someone asked about their "great chemistry."  She took on project after project that had nothing to do with William Darcy, and still they'd ask about him.  Compare new co-stars and their on screen work to how it inevitably fell short of her performances with Darcy. 

(Admittedly, she _had_ had to carry the whole film when she worked with Will Collins.  Mr. Collins was good at scenes that he was in alone or was the dominate character, but anything involving honest to god human interaction fell flat.)

(And who cared if she and Darcy had "chemistry"?  Yes, they read each other extremely well on camera.  Yes, it was beyond easy to work with him, as natural as when she'd played dress up with his sisters as a child.  And yes, he was very handsome once he got into character.  The picture charm and confidence and ease.  But all of that ended as soon as the cameras stopped rolling.)

A few years later, Charlotte talked her into a film.  The last five pitches she'd heard included talks of casting William Darcy alongside her, and she'd flat out refused to hear them.  So really, it didn't take much for Charlotte to get her to take on this particular role. 

The rest of the cast was amazing, friendly to a degree she hadn't encountered before.  After filming one day, she relented to George Wickham and Kate Younge's pestering and went out for drinks.  They were so easy to get along with that Elizabeth found herself perhaps a little drunk.  Somehow they get on the conversation of her earlier parts and that leads to talking about Darcy.

"He called me fat," she pouted over the rim of her shot glass.  She downed the tequila and added, "And his aunt's an ass."

Perhaps she'd had too much to drink, because she missed the look that Wickham and Miss Younge shared.  But then Wickham was leaning forward conspiratorially and telling her truly terrible things about the other man.  About their shared childhood since he was Darcy's cousin, since his mother was sisters with Darcy senior's second wife or something like that.  It gave her a headache to try and put the family tree in order, so she didn't bother. 

It was a sordid tale of how Darcy had been jealous of Wickham when they were children because his father had liked him.  How Darcy's father had even continued sending him birthday gifts and inviting him on family trips after the divorce.  That the rivalry (completely fabricated by Darcy, because Wickham had no interest in it) had continued into adulthood.  That he'd been denied his inheritance when Darcy's father had passed some years ago - a lovely home in southern California - and Darcy had even gotten him cut from a movie.

Miss Younge nodded at each new revelation, adding other details about Darcy's womanizing and snobbishness.  It all painted a picture of a terrible, vindictive person.  One that was slightly at odds with what Lizzie had seen firsthand, but enough of it fit in with her opinion of him that she ate it up. 

(When she later tried to confront Darcy about it a few months later, he seemed uncomfortable but didn't rise to the bait.  Quite frankly, it was annoying.)

She didn't see much of Darcy after that, but it was just her luck that she happened to run into Caroline Bingley at a party.  Caroline, despite her reputation, was a harmless gossip.  Any malevolent intent some people saw in her was simply misinterpreting her desire to share any and everything she'd ever heard about anyone ever.  Yes, she talked behind people's backs, but she did so equally.  Elizabeth didn't necessarily approve, but she was able to find amusement in Caroline's company once she got over that nothing said between them would ever remain there.

And since Caroline was the only familiar face at this particular event, Elizabeth was content to let her presence deter others looking to make small talk.  (Could she help it if she was in a bad mood?  She'd had a terrible week of filming on location in the desert.  She'd simply run out of patience for the moment and needed to recoup before she was up to putting on a fake smile and schmoozing)

Caroline babbled on about this that and the other.  The scandal of Miss Dashwood, which was only now making the tabloids but that Caroline said she'd known about for _months_ since she was "close personal friends" with her, was the majority of the conversation.  But somehow that romance turning sour led to talk of new, budding relationships.

"I heard from my brother, who you will remember is a best friend with our mutual acquaintance William Darcy, that Darcy is secretly dating Anne de Bourgh.  Which I know the reporters will spin as incestuous, but they're not even related by blood.  Honestly, they'll just want to play up a scandal because scandals sell." 

And she went on about how they were a good couple, mostly because of their backgrounds and families.  Surprisingly little was said of Anne de Bourgh herself - her likes, her interests, her profession, or her personality.  When she points that out, Caroline laughs and says, "Darling, this is showbiz.  No one cares about any of _that_."

(A few weeks later, when Lizzie saw a tabloid proclaiming that very rumor, she couldn't quite explain why she felt let down by it.)

It was unavoidable, given their stardom, that they'd run into each other.  It didn't happen as often as it used to when they worked together, but there were a few times their paths crossed.  At those events, Elizabeth made a point of not seeking him out and noticed he did the same.  It helped solidify her opinion of him, assured her that it was mutual dislike. 

(So what if Charlotte's voice kept whispering in the back of her mind that he was shy.  That he didn't know how to approach her because she could be intimidating.  What did that matter?  Look what he'd done to Wickham.  That surely could not be excused by 'being shy.')

Then _that role_ gets offered to her.  The period piece romance.  The brilliant reunion between herself and William Darcy on screen. 

Charlotte was baffled when she turned it down.  The director had asked for her _by name_.  She was _the only_ leading lady they were considering.  This was the role of a lifetime.

"But it's a romance," Elizabeth explained.  "And Darcy's been cast as the other lead."

"Elizabeth Bennet," Charlotte hissed.  "I can't believe you." 

"You know we can't stand each other.  The thought of kissing him makes my stomach turn!"

(She ignored that she's not completely sure if it's in a good or bad way.  She _did_ know is that she didn't really want to examine the reason why.)

"You're an _actress_.  _Act_ like he doesn't make your skin crawl."

Charlotte kept pushing and pushing, but Elizabeth was steadfast in her refusal.  But eventually it's just _so much_ money that she had to reconsider.  She could buy her parents a new house, could help Lydia fund that new clothing line.  Justify the time off to have a real vacation with Jane. 

"Look, Lizzie," Charlotte pleaded, "I know you think the guy's a bit of a jerk, but he's not a _complete_ asshole, right?  It's just a job.  You're a professional, he's a professional.  You can manage this."

So she caved and said yes.  Because dammit if Charlotte wasn't right.

Over the next few months before filming started, Charlotte made it her mission to flood Elizabeth's inbox with articles about William Darcy.  His recent volunteer work.  His newest charity.  The girl with leukemia who asked him on Twitter go to go prom with him and he accepted. 

And strangely... they all sounded like things he would do.  She didn't find a single one hard to believe.  She couldn't even find it in her to question his motives, that it was all for publicity, because she knew for a fact there was more that he media hadn't gotten their hands on. 

And it was just... hard to reconcile the public image of Darcy, who's a great guy, with what Wickham's told her (definitely not a decent guy at all), with what she's personally seen (jury's still out on that one).  She sulked for a while on set about it, doing her best to figure out who the real Darcy is.  Is he one of those three portrayals?  Is he all of them?  Is he someone else entirely? 

It didn't help that he was so _terribly_ nice to her during filming.  More so than he'd ever been before.  He'd seek her out to talk or show her things.  It was really sweet, the way he saw that she was uncomfortable and was trying to fix it.  But it was confusing, because William Darcy had never done that before.  William Darcy only tolerated her, like he did half of the people she'd seen him interact with. 

Right?

When she looked at the filming schedule and realized that they'd have to start kissing soon, her heart squeezed painfully and her stomach dropped.  Was Darcy trying to make her comfortable just so the kiss would look better?  So it'd be less awkward?  Was it no more than an extension of the professionalism she'd come to expect?  Or was it genuine affection? 

Elizabeth had no idea which one she wanted it to be.  She was, however, sure that it was _infuriating_ given her determination to dislike him. 

"So he's being the epitome of a nice guy, and you're _upset_?"

"Just because he's being nice to me right now doesn't excuse his treatment of others, Charlotte."

"Okay, good point.  So, how _does_ he treat other people?"  She stopped Elizabeth from answering, fury coloring her cheeks as she was about to explain _again_ his unfair treatment of Wickham.  "Not second hand accounts, Lizzie.  How does he treat the other people on set?  The cast?  The crew?  Interviewers?  What have you _seen_?"

Lizzie opened her mouth to say that of course he was rude and standoffish and...  Huh, now that she was actually thinking about it, she'd never personally _witnessed_ him be rude to anyone.  Ever.  He was easy to get tongue tied when they weren't filming, but he was always polite when he managed to recover.  He was polite and courteous to the crew.  When fans would tour the set, he was pleasant if not a bit reserved.

Charlotte had the good graces not to appear too smug when Lizzie couldn't sight a single example other than their first meeting. 

Then the kissing scenes started and damn was it good.  She _hated_ that she liked it.  But she was always good at getting into character.  Letting someone else's life take over for a bit was cathartic sometimes.  But she couldn't attribute of it to that.  The frenzy lurking behind each kiss, like there was something each was holding back lest it got out and destroyed everything in its path. 

Elizabeth wasn't an idiot.  She knew they had great chemistry, but she always thought it was fueled by their mutual dislike.  But that was getting harder and harder to justify as the reason behind the mounting sexual tension.  The way he kissed her wasn't... It couldn't be...  And she shouldn't...  Right? 

She buried all the doubts and confusion for days.  It was slowly driving her crazy, and she was honestly starting to question whether she'd survive filming.  So on a whim, she followed him back to his trailer.  Get it out of their systems, so to speak, and get on with their work.

It was good.  All that chemistry and heat and everything every movie goer had ever said about them?  Yeah, apparently it wasn't just on set. 

She'd assumed it was just a one-night stand.  Work out some tension so they could focus.  Sure, if she were being honest with herself (and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that just yet), she'd be open to a repeat performance.  She didn't really want to examine that eagerness too closely, and decided it would probably be best to keep it as a one time thing.  No reason to complicate things.

(There was that look in his eyes when she'd left his trailer.  Something sad that she couldn't quite understand.  So like most of what didn't fit into her image of William Darcy, she did her best to ignore it.)

On set the next day, she was relieved that things could hopefully be less tense between them.  Maybe she could move on from this weird physical attraction she had to him.  One that defied all reason and logic, that didn't make sense _at all_.

But things were off afterward.  It took a few days to pin down what it was.  But then it hit her like a ton of bricks.  Between takes, his shoulders slumped slightly and his eyes were empty.  He was... he was so fucking _sad_.  She stared at him openly, gawking really, but as soon as he saw her he straightened up, gave a small smile, and turned away. 

Darcy was an actor, and a damn good one at that, so perhaps it wasn't surprising he'd hid it.  But now that she's seen it, she couldn't un-see it.  How he abruptly stopped trying to tell her jokes (or talk to her at all really, besides about the scene they were working on).  The sexual tension was gone, evaporated like it had never been there, but it's been replaced by something much worse. 

When they filmed a scene where the couple split up because he was going to war...  The scene itself was supposed to be heart-wrenching, but it was actually pretty devastating for Lizzie to film.  As she got more and more into character, the whole scene was making her tear up.  But the way he kissed her good-bye...

They pulled apart from the kiss and it wasn't their characters looking at each other.  It was Elizabeth Bennet and William Darcy, and Darcy looked _wretched_.  And while he funneled that into his portrayal, the mask had been lifted and Lizzie saw that it was all him.

And she'd made a terrible mistake.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I did a decent job of showing that Lizzie is extremely confused when it comes to Darcy. Lots of attraction, but she's getting mixed signals, and her initial bad impression colors every interaction she has with him. ???? Let me know!


End file.
